Christmas Shopping

When I spoke to my dad late this morning he asked me about Christmas presents. "I've never done this before," he began. "Your mother always did the shopping. I don't know where to begin."

I told my father not to worry. I would shop for the presents on his list using my computer to purchase them on-line. This was a concept my dad never would have thought of, much less have known how to do. I explained to him how easy it would be for me. "I'm on my computer most of the day anyway, Dad," I insisted. "Most orders will even ship for free," I added, "and still arrive in time for Christmas." I sounded like one of the latest seasonal ads on television. But, my dad was ecstatic! "Oh, thank you, Honey, " he said with a huge sigh of relief.

Like most men his age, the thought of shopping at any time is a daunting task. This year, trying to buy Christmas presents so soon after my mother's passing is understandably, overwhelming for him. He doesn't even know where to begin. What should he purchase? How much do things cost? Where is the best place to shop? My father was scared to death!

It was a thrill for me to ease Dad's mind in regard to his shopping dilemma. How happy it makes me to be able to do this for him. Such a small offering on my part, yet an enormous relief to his wounded holiday spirit. It's something he no longer has to worry about.

After hanging up the phone with him, I actually looked forward to shopping for my dad. After all, I could do it from the sanctuary of my own home: in my warm and cozy library. Outside my frosted bay windows, the first snowfall of the season blanketed the ground in several inches of white powder. The temperature was 4 degrees with a wind-chill of minus 8. How happy I was to be inside: drinking a steaming cup of cocoa while sitting in my favorite flannel bathrobe!

Most of my family and friends would say that I'm an 'expert' shopper when it comes to using the Internet. I have to agree. My experience is unmeasurable: not something I'm necessarily proud of. Still, my 'know-how' does have its advantages. My computer mouse moved with ease from one site to another, comparing prices and seeking the best deals. Although I anticipated this virtual shopping trip to be an easy task, it took much longer than I expected. Not because my father's list of gifts to be purchased was large, but because my computer kept crashing. With only twelve days before Christmas, it seems I was not the only one shopping from their computer!

Actually, Dad's gift list was very small. I had explained to him earlier, that most of our family "cut back years ago" through an agreement with Mom. We are all grown now. Most of our own children (my father's grandchildren) are grown as well. None of us truly want or need anything. Still, there were a few people Dad insisted on buying presents for, so I gladly went along with him as he wished.

While I checked off each present from my father's Christmas list, I couldn't help but think of how different the experience was this year. Everywhere I looked my eyes seemed to gravitate toward items I would have liked to purchase for my mother. Things I new she would have loved. An Italian inlaid wooden music box playing one of her favorite themes from, Doctor Zhivago. A beautifully shaped vase made of cut glass in some of her favorite colors: various shades of pinks and blues. A white, warm and fuzzy bed jacket to keep her comfy while watching television from her favorite chair at home. I could go on and on.

As much as I enjoy Christmas shopping (even if only from home), much of the magic is missing this year. Missing......like my mother.